There is a reason...

There is a reason for my lack in posting.

Actually several...

1) I couldn't think of anything interesting to write about.
2) Sometimes I need to write about things that are just too personal to post publicly.
3) It seems like everyone has a blog these days.
4) I needed to re-evaluate my purpose.
5) My car was totaled.
6) It's winter, between lack of sunlight and decreased vitamin D, I may as well be a bear.

That's all.

Dear Creator...

God,

I have lost track again.

The world has sucked me in, I caved to the pressures of others who don't know you.

Take away my complacency. 

Take away my greed, my need for comfort and false securities.

You've asked me to be the salt and light, but my salt is weak and my light is dim, it barely flickers.

My actions mirror those around me.

Harsh judgement and cruel words fly from my  lips.

I want to love my enemies with the love that can only come from you.

I want to stop trying to figure you out and just accept you as the One who made me, and the One who knows best.

Forgive my arrogance, my self-centeredness, my audacity in thinking that I know best, that I can tell you how to be God.

Your ways are inexplicable. 

I want to believe your truths, all of them, even the ones that make me uncomfortable. The ones that others just can't believe you would do because you're a loving God, and love doesn't ever equal pain.

Rescue me from myself.

I want to be your beacon in this lost world.

I want to give up my comforts to help those in need.

Mold me, make me more like you.

Set me on fire.

Set me apart.

Amen.

Creativity...

The more I observe, the more I witness, the more I experience creative people, the more I have come to understand the creative process. Highly creative people need the emotional ups and downs to create. The creative process comes from that deep emotion's (pain, joy, anger...) need to get out.

Creativity lives in the fringes of insanity.

I'm not labeling. Much of what I write about comes from personal experience. I am a creative person.

Creativity drives me.

It takes on a life of it's own.

It's therapy.

It's exercise for the brain.

It's unpredictable.

It's a gift from above.

 

Procrastination you are NOT my Friend

I hate the one bad habit that I have (hahahaha, "one" bad habit, wink, wink ;)....

PROCRASTINATION!!!

I'm not sure why I do it. I have to say, I work really well under pressure and typically I still get things done. I even get good grades on papers that I stay up til 1am writing. However, it's not healthy to procrastinate. It is healthy to not stress over getting things done prematurely. I think I really need to list the reasons why I procrastinate so I have something to go back to:

1) I think part of it has to do with ADD.......squirrel! I get distracted easily. My motto is "as long as everything is accomplished during the day, it doesn't matter how it got accomplished".

2) I enjoy the adrenaline rush of doing things at the last minute.

3) I can live in denial and have fun in the moment, well, until the final hour comes and then I have to get down to business.

4) I have an over packed calendar. Most of which is unavoidable with running kids from place to place and just being a Mom. 

5) I don't remeber what day it is, then I realize that it's actually Monday and I have a paper due by 2am!

6) I have good intentions but then unexpected things happen that require my attention.

Ok, so they are all just a list of excuses.

And occassionally it is just an EPIC FAIL on my part.

Procrastination is not my friend.

We must part ways.

We're divorcing as of today.

Say a little prayer as I start to research my next paper that is due NEXT Monday. Thanks.

 

 

Tea is not Water and Gum has Sweeteners, and Ooops! I ate a Tater Tot!

I know tea is not water, and gum does have sweeteners (but I will keep searching the aisles of Whole Foods to find one that doesn't). 

I have been doing fine with my fast, but then as I was cleaning up after dinner, I popped a tater tot right into my mouth! Oooops! I realized. Then I tried to rationalize it as I ate three more, "Potatoes are vegetables and oil is ok, and they are baked, right??" This morning I woke up and thought to myself that I must have been under some sort of spell as I rationalized the eating of the tater tot. No, it's not ok, they are processed and probably fried before they are frozen and then re-baked. 

I asked forgiveness.

And now as I sit here trying to make sense of things, and procrastinate starting to write my paper on the History of Nursing Theorists, I realize that we do that very thing every day.

Let me break it down:

We do something bad/sinful, 

we realize it, 

we rationalize it, 

we do it again, 

then we realize it,

ask forgiveness,

then we do it again,

then we realize it,

maybe ask forgiveness again,

etc.,

etc.,

etc......

It gets old doesn't it?

Thank you Jesus that you forgive us and you change us.

Apple on my Counter......Summer 2010

Fasting

But Daniel determined that he would not defile himself by eating the king's food or drinking his wine, so he asked the head of the palace staff to exempt him from the royal diet. The head of the palace staff, by God's grace, liked Daniel, but he warned him, "I'm afraid of what my master the king will do. He is the one who assigned this diet and if he sees that you are not as healthy as the rest, he'll have my head!"

But Daniel appealed to a steward who had been assigned by the head of the palace staff to be in charge of Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah: "Try us out for ten days on a simple diet of vegetables and water. Then compare us with the young men who eat from the royal menu. Make your decision on the basis of what you see." 

Daniel 1:8-13

Today is day 7 for me. I have been hesitant to talk about fasting. It's something I am doing to draw closer to God, find descernemet, and detoxify my body and soul. I have been reading about it and studying about it for a long time, but have always put it on a back burner, "I'll start after vacation, after Christmas, after school is done, blah, blah, blah....". 

What better time to start then during Lent. I am giving up sugar for Lent and decided to do this Daniel fast to start off. 

 NO: meats, dairy, leavened bread, refined processed foods, deep-fried foods, solid fats, and non-water beverages. 

YES: vegetables, fruit, whole grains, nuts , seeds, legumes, quality oils, soy foods, water.

YES: Daily focus on Gods' word and the strongholds in my life that need to be released, so I can see clearly what God's plan is for me.

This first week has been challenging. I haven't found it challenging to eat healthy. I typically enjoy eating that way with added goodies (cookies and cakes and bagels). I have found it challenging to stay on track as my body revolts and detoxes. I have been bloated and physically feeling sick for this first week. Night time is the hardest time for me. 

I just want a little cookie or to lick the icing off a cupcake or two or twelve...

Or a chewy gooey rice crispy treat...

Or my famous caramel popcorn...

 

So for today I focus on this:

"The Daisy and The Bee" taken in my backyard two Springs ago.

Picture Inspiration

I'm participating in a year long photo adventure called Picture Inspiration. If you want to read more about it, there is button on the right column of my blog.

Each week I receive photo prompts, challenges, and projects. I looooovvvvvveeeee taking pictures! And this is a great way to find inspiration and also have the support of a fabulous community of other photographers.

This week my prompt was Finding a Little Rhythm....

Secret Lake

Wood